Drunk Jokes

Aliens are Sneaky
An alien walks into a bar and sits next to a drunk guy and begins poking him in the shoulder. The.....[Full Joke]

Car Stickers
I may be a cold hearted and a unloving bitch, but I'm damn good at it How am I driving? Call 1800.....[Full Joke]

What Not To Say To A Naked Guy
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahh, it's cute. 3. Who circumcised you? 4. Why don'.....[Full Joke]

Caught Speeding
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. O.....[Full Joke]

Gay Translator
I want a commitment. I'm sick of masturbation. Haven't I seen you before? Nice ass. I need y.....[Full Joke]

What Men Mean
Haven't I seen you before? = Nice ass I'm a Romantic = I'm poor I need you" = My hand is tired.....[Full Joke]

The Talking Clock
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his .....[Full Joke]

Quick Jokes
What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He smashed his his nose. .....[Full Joke]

Signs You Might Be A Redneck
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. You think "taking out the trash" .....[Full Joke]

The Empire State Building
Two men were sitting at the top floor of the Empire State Building. One man says to the other.. ".....[Full Joke]

Valentines Slogans
10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk, But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk. .....[Full Joke]

Ugliest Kid Ever
I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road. He passed a wom.....[Full Joke]

10 Signs You Might Be Trailor Trash
Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. You've been married three times and still ha.....[Full Joke]

The Gambler
During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the barten.....[Full Joke]

Pub Steakout
The policeman had the bar under surveillance a few minutes before closing time, so he could see who .....[Full Joke]

Male Training Seminars
1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You, Too, Can Do Housework 3. PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mout.....[Full Joke]

The Frog and Rat
A drunk walks up to a barkeeper one day and says, "If I show you a trick will you give me a free dri.....[Full Joke]


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