It was the night before christmas,
When all through the house,
Not a creature was stiring,
Not even a mouse,
With mom at the whore house,
And dad smoking grass,
I just settled down,
For a nice peace of ass,
When out on the lawn,
I heard such a clatter,
I sprung to my feet,
To see whats the matter,
When out on the lawn,
I saw a big dick,
I knew for a moment,
It must be saint nick,
He came down the chimney,
Like a bat out of hell,
I knew for a moment the fat fucker had fell,
He filled all our stockings,
With pretzels and beer,
And a big rubber dick,
For my brother the queer,
He rose up the chimney eith a thunderous fart,
The son of a bitch blew my chimney apart,
He swore and he cursed as he wrode out of sight,
And said piss on you all,
And have a hell of a good night.
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