Sex Pick Up Lines

Man: we better get you out of those wet clothes
Women: what?
Man: [licks his finger an wipes it on her dress]
Man: those wet clothes

Is your dad a police officer, if so i'll be visiting you a lot

Hey babe lets make a bunk bed you be on bottom I be on top

I'm no weather man but the forecast is calling for several inches tonight !

The only time I'd kick you outta bed would be to fuck you on the floor!

MAN: There's a party tonight!
WOMAN: Where?
MAN: In your mouth and im cummin!

Hi, my name's ______. You better remember it cause you'll be screaming it later!!

I just shit my pants. Can I get into yours?

Do you have a mirror in your pocket, cuz i can see myself in your pants

Wanna ride? i got a truck and a box of condoms.

Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children! For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.

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