3 Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, "However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will get in heaven".
The first guy comes up to the gate and says, "I never, ever cheated on my wife and I love her". So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce.
The next man comes up and says, "I cheated on my wife a little but I stilll love her." He gets a mustang and drives off into heaven.
The next guy came up and said, "I cheated on my wife alot". He gets a scooter.
Next day the guy that got the scooter was riding along and he saw the guy who owned the Rolls Royce crying.
He asked, "Why are you crying you have such a nice car?!" and the man sobbed, "My wife just went by on roller skates".
Here's one (make sure to give me credit if you make it one of your jokes) A man is at his house on good friday night with a knife about to kll himself, all of a suden the easter bunny came in and said "What are you doing it's easter?" "I am 47, I have lost my job," the man answerd, "My wife has left me and I canot aford to feed my kids" "Ah I can grant you 3 wishes," replied the easter bunny. "So when you get up on easter all your problems will be fixed." "Oh-however can I re pay you?"gasped the man. "Well alot of people don't know this but the easter bunny is cross speicies," "So you could bend over for me, my little easter peeps arn't to good at it." "Ok," sighed the man, as he pulled down his pants. The bunny did his biz and when he was finnished the man pulled up his pants. The easter bunny looks at the man and says "How old did you say you were?" "47," he repied. What," "And you still belive in the easter bunny?!?" he said as he ripped off his dollar bunny ears and nose.
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