What do you call an Afghan virgin?
Never bin laid on.
How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper.
If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?
A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm.
He meets another New Zealander who says “you sheerin’ mate?” and the first guy replies “naw, they’re all mine.”
Why does a squirrel swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A lickalotopis.
A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police. The copper approaches him and politely asks, “Have you been drinking, sir?”
“Why?” snorts the man. “Is there a fat bird in my car?”