There are two cowboys in the kitchen. Which one is the real cowboy?
The one on the range.
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat?
Cut off your head.
A Horse goes into a bar and the bartender says “Hey buddy, why the long face.”
Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?
A. Where you left it.
Q. What’s pink and fluffy?
A. Pink fluff.
Q. What’s blue and fluffy?
A. Pink fluff holding it’s breath.
Two muffins are in the oven.
One says to the other “God it’s hot in here.”
The other one replies “Oh no… It’s a talking muffin.”