Whats the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather.
Perverted is when you use the whole chicken…
A girl went into a doctors office with a Strawberry up her ass, The doctor said I’ve got some “Cream” for that.
Why was the washing machine laughing?
Because it was taking the piss out the underpants.
What do you do with a years worth of used condoms?
Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a Goodyear.
What’s the difference between a penis and a bonus?
Your wife will always blow your bonus!
A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jam jar on his cock.
A lady asks “What are you dressed as?”
He says “A fireman!”
“You break the glass, pull the knob, and I’ll cum as fast as I can.”
One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver.
She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so.
She says, “Anything you say can and will be held against you.”
He replies “Breasts.”